


A World Between Us

by Fi_Quinn



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Heavy Angst, Modern Setting Clarke Griffin/Lexa, POV Clarke Griffin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21937855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fi_Quinn/pseuds/Fi_Quinn
Summary: Clarke leaves Lexa’s in tears, she loves Lexa, she always has. But Lexa’s duties, her job, it’s crushed her. The world seems to drive them apart, leaving almost nothing in its wake.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	A World Between Us

Clarke was reeling as she left Lexa’s apartment, walking down the street, tears flinging down her eyes, tears she couldn’t control. Lexa’s words echoed through her mind, once, twice, and then a third time.  _ I can’t do this anymore.  _

How could she not do this anymore? Clarke had sacrificed everything, her family, her friends, her livelihood, just to be with Lexa. She loved Lexa with all her heart, and she’d thought that Lexa had loved her back too. 

Well, apparently, she’d been wrong. Lexa cared more about her job than about her, was willing to put it above her. Clarke just couldn’t understand why. 

She stood on the street, alone, wishing, waiting. All her life, she’d been alone. Even with Finn, there was something missing. She’d loved him, in a way, but not the way she loved Lexa. Not with the force and the truth she loved Lexa. It was always there, Lexa was always there, always a part of her. And she couldn’t give that up, could she? 

All Clarke could think about was Lexa. Lexa, with her brown curls and knowing look. Lexa, who, when they’d met, had told her that she didn’t believe in falling in love. Lexa, who had held Clarke in her arms and told her she would never leave. 

Well now, it was clear. She was sorely mistaken. Lexa had always held her pride, her world, her job, as important. She’d always been passionate, and cared for, and loved, but before, it hadn’t been like this. But now, her job and people’s opinions seemed to consume her, and Clarke loved her and didn’t want to lose her, but Lexa wanted to end it. Lexa wanted something over Clarke, and Clarke couldn’t understand that. 

As Clarke walked down the street, she didn’t care about the odd looks that people gave her tear stricken figure, she didn’t care that people could see her crying. The only person that had mattered, truly mattered, was gone, and Clarke didn’t know what to do. Clarke had loved her, so much, too much even, but she couldn’t take that back now. 

Clarke remembered the first time she kissed Lexa. When she had just confessed her feelings, each and every drop of love, and Lexa had stood in silence, stunned. She had just walked up to Lexa, staring at her, knowing that she would never regret this moment as she went up to Lexa and just kissed her, and Lexa had kissed her back. 

Then it had been the first time Lexa said I love you. The first time they swore to never let the world drive them apart. The first time they told someone else about their relationship. The first time Clarke had known Lexa was her soulmate. 

And now all of it was gone, with the first time Lexa had told Clarke that they needed to break up. That the world was against them, that the world hated what the two of them had. That the stress of her job and life was too much. Clarke had thought Lexa was joking, with her tight lips and always thinking eyes, she had thought it was just another thing Lexa did. Just a prank, because the world had been against them forever, and they had sworn that other people wouldn’t influence their relationship. 

Then here was Lexa, telling her that the world wanted to drive the two of them apart.  _ We weren’t made for each other _ , she'd said, but that was a lie. They were made for each other, in a way Clarke could hardly wrap her mind around. The two of them had been a duo, a pair, a team, for so long that Clarke didn’t even know who she would be alone. 

What was Clarke doing, lost in the pathways of life, drifting through space? What was Clarke doing, mulling around, hardly even putting up a fight? Clarke needed to fight for Lexa, she needed to remind Lexa why they had gotten together. What Lexa would be losing. The one thing neither of them seemed to be able to live without— each other. 

She raced back to Lexa’s apartment, determination set in her heart. Clarke Griffin was not a woman to go down without a fight, without protest, just swallowing it up and forgetting about it. No, Clarke realized, brushing away tears. 

Now was not the time to mourn. 

She raced up the stairs, all the way back to Lexa’s door. Every single memory here had been one Clarke had savored, but this, this was a hard time. She pushed down her nerves as she rang the bell, as she waited the long, held out, seconds, running over in her head what she could even say. How she could even convince Lexa to come back. 

Lexa opened the door, red dashed over her eyes. “You shouldn’t have come back.” 

Clarke ignored her, staring at her face, staring at her tears. She had been crying. She had been sad. So why did she want to end it, why did she want to ruin their happiness? “Lexa, I love you, and I want us to work, I know we can work.” 

Lexa closed her eyes, sighing. “We’ll never be able to work Clarke. The world doesn’t want us together, they haven’t, not from the moment I set my eyes on you.” 

“We were meant for each other, Lexa. I know it, you just have to accept it.” Clarke was so sure, so confident in her love for Lexa. This was the thing she seemed to know best, beating in her heart, she was so worried that Lexa would think otherwise. But she knew how far Lexa’s love went, she just had to prove it. Her voice cracked. “We’re soulmates.” 

“And what about you?” Lexa bit back. “What about your family, Skaikru, any of it? You shouldn’t have to sacrifice everything to be with me Clarke, that’s so unfair! And it’s not the way a relationship should work.” 

Clarke shook her head. “The sacrifices I made were my choice. I wanted to be with you, and I understood what that meant. I understand you have your doubts, but I’ll support you. Forever.”    
  


“Love is supposed to be happiness. You act like this is just a bad chapter in our lives, but this is what it would always be like. Pain. Loss. Stress.” Tears clung to Lexa’s eyes, and Clarke resisted the urge to leap out and run to her. And hug her, hoping all of it would just fade away. “I have never wanted to hurt you, and that’s why we can never be together. I wouldn't ever be able to live with myself.” 

“No, Lexa, I just want to be with you. You are my happy place.” 

Lexa gave a small, sad smile, as she stared at Clarke. All her love for Lexa rose in that one moment. Every single memory, smile, adventure, each was all so real, so important, so right. And yet, fragile. With one touch, they were all gone, millions of broken pieces fractured on the floor, too many to put back together. All because of a few simple words, all because of a moment's doubt. 

She loved Lexa, Clarke knew that. There was no way she could lose her, no, no,  _ no _ . Clarke opened her mouth, as if to speak, but Lexa got there first. 

“Get out.” Lexa’s words were soft, and yet full of force. 

Clarke resisted. “What? No, Lexa, I-” 

“Get out!” It boomed through the hallway as Lexa stared at her, watched Clarke, and Clarke could only realize that she was losing. That Lexa, Lexa truly didn’t want them to be together. That she was letting the world around them drive the two apart. “Get out, get out, get OUT!” 

Clarke watched as Lexa pushed her away, watched, horror in her eyes, as her legs walked her down the stairs, out of Lexa’s house, and back onto the street. Tears crumbled out of her, sobs, so many sobs. Pained sobs, mourning sobs, desperate sobs. She fell onto her knees, realizing that Lexa was gone. Her soulmate had chosen another path, had told her it was over, and there was nothing she could do. She had tried, she had tried and tried and tried, and yet, Lexa had said no. 

She was falling, and Clarke didn’t know how to stop. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Clexa is literally one of my all-time favorite pairings, and I will love them forever! I am so disappointed that they didn't work out canon wise. 
> 
> Any comments, kudos, thoughts, or ideas are always appreciated :)


End file.
